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Saturday, February 01, 2014

Re-Purposing: ME!

I just had a birthday.

Usually, birthdays act on me like New Year's Eve does on others:  I reflect on the previous year, bemoan the changes I DID NOT MAKE, and set goals for the coming year.

To be honest, it's often a less-than-enjoyable time for me.

You know. . .kind of melancholy and 'can't believe I let another year slip by'-ish.  I think about all the moments wasted in worry or anxiety over things that, after all, ended up just fine.  I consider all the plans I had that I never carried through because of time, resources, or just plain energy.  I wonder at how I managed to squander all those precious moments with my husband, family and, especially, my God.

It makes me kind of blue.

But when I start to get cross with myself for not being a little 'further along the path' in some areas, or find myself heading toward a bona fide pity party, I force myself to look even further back and see how far I've come over the years.

And I start to come out of it a bit.

(I'm a work in progress.)

This year, I tried to start at that point, rather than end there.   I tried to go into my birthday looking at the big picture of how much I have grown and achieved and progressed over the years.

My goal was to jump right on over that 'woe is me' bit to the bit where I remember that, actually, I'm pretty dang blessed.

And it worked.

Instead of getting progressively more blue in the lead up to the big day, then remaining in a bit of a funk for the whole big day itself, I sort of just bypassed all that and went straight to a sense of gratefulness that I'm not where I started and am not done growing yet.  It was kind of awesome.

And because I wasn't wasting time mired in various forms of regret, I had time to reflect on a couple of things.  Not only am I in a personal trajectory that, if you zoom out a bit, is heading in the right direction, but I'm also being constantly re-made in purpose.

First, a child, then a student, a professional, a wife, a mother, then a complicated mix of all those things.  And now, a writer, too.

Forget looking regretfully at the past. . .I have a future to look forward to!

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory  (2 Corinthians 3:18)


(photo courtesy of publicdomainpictures.net and can be found here)

2 comments:

  1. Happy belated Birthday, Robynne! I love birthdays. "Another year of living."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Heather. It was amazing how a little change of attitude made a huge change in how much I enjoyed the day! :)

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